Let’s Talk Fear

Fear

Such a small word but with such a big punch.

Something that we have all dealt with … but have you conquered it?!?

What is Fear?!?

Fear is being afraid.

Fear is an unpleasant emotion.

But, you know what else fear is … Fear is false evidence appearing real. Have you heard this acronym before?!?

It means that fear isn't real. Fear is the things you see, the things you allow yourself to believe, the things you allow yourself to incorporate into your life and make them real. But, in reality, fear is nothing more than a limiting belief, a self imposed belief, or a restriction you're putting on yourself. Fear is only real because you allow fear to be real.

You can't change what you don’t know. So, define your fear. If you aren't willing to define your fear, how can you expect to conquer it?

Parts of Fear

The question really becomes … are you going to admit to yourself that you are your limitation? That you are your restriction? That you hold limiting beliefs? 

Fear can be broken down into 3 categories: fear of risk, fear of failure, and fear of change. 

So, let's talk about each of them in turn. It doesn’t matter what process or order you use to discuss them.

I’ve also linked above to a few videos that I did on fears

Fear of Risk

What is a risk? 

A risk is an exposure to danger or the uncertainty of something bad happening. If risk is uncertainty, then there’s a risk in everything we do in life. From waking up, getting in a car, going to work, and just walking around.

Why are you scared to take a risk? 

Think about all the freak accidents that have happened in the most random of cases ... the random incidents and the random or abnormal deaths … like being struck by lightning or electrocuted. Think about the things that have happened to you when you were just living life and not doing anything truly "risky” ... but we are afraid of risk?!? REALLY?!?

You’re so scared to take a risk that will make your life better, make your future better … but you have people that are bungee jumping, skydiving, parasailing, and all these crazy things that truly involve more risk than day to day life does.

Every day, ever hour, every minute, and every second of the day is a risk. You have to stop being so selective on what you classify as a risk and realize that there is a risk in everything … you just have to decide if the risk is one that’s worth taking. 

How can you let go of the fear of risk?

Change how you see risks. I mean, a risk is uncertainty, and there is uncertainty in everything that happens and that we do in life. We don’t know what will happen any given moment of the day, but we live like there is a future because we want there to be on. So, do the same with risk - know that life is risky, but live your life!

Life has you living risky on the daily … embrace it!

Fear of Failure

What is failure? Failure is a lack of success or omission. When I read that, or think about that definition, it makes me think that you can only fail if you don't try, you can only fail if you give up. The reality is that you shouldn't fear failure; instead, you should embrace it. 

Have you heard that acronym before that to fail is nothing more than your first attempt in learning. You can only learn, you can only get better, if you do. 

You have to stop fearing failure because it’s through your failure that you’re learning. Your fear of failure is keeping you from starting, but starting is what makes the difference between success and failure. Your fear of failure is keeping you from learning because you can’t expect to learn without trying and without doing. Your fear of failure keeps you in your limiting beliefs and in a limiting position ... these limiting beliefs and limitations are self-imposed by you … on you.

Fear of failure will only keep you stagnant and will prevent you from getting better. The only way that you will lack success is if you don't try. Let go of the fear of failure by doing … by failing forward. Go fail … go learn through that failure.

Fear of Change

To change is to altar, to modify, to make different. So why are you still afraid of change? You're afraid of differences, you’re afraid of modifications. 

You don’t have to, and really you shouldn’t, change for the worst … So why are you so scared of improving yourself? Why are you afraid of changing for the better?!? 

When you look at change and when you’re ready to change, the actual decision to change isn’t necessarily super easy. I mean, I didn’t say it would be easy. Change is a process, it’s a cycle, and there are different parts that are involved in it. Changing, and going through the cycle of change, is something that you have to go through and work through.

Whew … There is so much that can be said about the fear of change. There is a cycle of change … and then there’s the work needed to break the cycle of change.

To keep from going into too much of a deep dive here … and to keep from overwhelming you … next week I'll continue the fear of change discussion and dive deeper into what is the cycle of change and how you can go about breaking the cycle of change.

But, for now …. Just know that you shouldn’t be afraid of changing for the better. Just because it’s different … different doesn’t have to be bad.

Overcoming Fear

Now that you know that fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing real, you still have questions. You’re wondering ... how can you overcome fear? How can you conquer fear? How can you stop letting fear keep you from doing the things you want in life? 

Let's talk about it … OK, so you’re afraid. You’re still afraid.

Did I say the fear was going to go away? Face the fear and do it anyway. Because remember that fear is false evidence appearing real … you’re afraid because you are allowing yourself to be afraid. Let’s be like Elsa and “let it go … let it go”!

Now, if you need help letting go of the fear, letting go of those self imposed limitations and limiting beliefs, reach out. I can help you work through it, we can conquer it because you cannot allow it to keep you from accomplishing things in life.

But here’s the thing, I can't help you if you don't reach out. True story ... I'm not a mind reader. 

Each and every one of us deserves to live our best life. Each and every one deserves to let go of the fear … the fear of risk, the fear of failure, and the fear of change. Each of us deserves to live in our why, to live in our purpose, and to have those dreams and hope for their future to come true. 

I won’t force you to let go of the fear. I won’t force you to embrace risk. I won’t force you to embrace failure. I won’t force you to embrace change. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. But, if you want to do it but you’re just reluctant. Or, you want to do it but you don't know how. Or even, you want to do it but you’re just scared to do it. I can help you with that. You just have to take the first step … reach out to start the process.

Don’t be scared … Comment below which the fears above spoke to you the most … Was it the fear of risk? The fear of failure? Or was it the fear of change? 

We all have encountered fear, we all have faced fear, but have we all gotten past the fear?!? 

Do me a favor … share this with somebody else because each and every one of us has encountered each of these fears, each and every one deals with these fears. But, the question now is … How much longer will you allow yourself to sit and wallow in the fears before you do something about it?!? 

Let's help others … fear isn’t real but we have let it into our life and it is keeping us from greatness. Now, let's help others to let go of the fear. Share this with others … let's help make the world a better, less fearful place. 

Like I always say, if you change your perspective, you change your mindset, and you can change your life … and I am here for it!

-Alesha

The “Lee” behind Legal.Lee